I long to catch a greyhound,
spotted with a silver diet drink
and sharp toes cutting her path
down these city streets.
I want to teach her my name,
sandwich her iron ore between
coils of gropes and grapples,
and see how quickly she can
talk me out of every handlehold
that helps me break her down.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
To be absolutely honest with you, this wasn't one of my favorites from your collection. I feel like it wasn't as defined (my favorite word of the week) as many of your other poems are. Like, maybe there isn't as much passion into this one as the others. I mean yea, it is well written as always...and if I knew nothing of your other works I would praise you greatly but for you--not my favorite.
Capitalize Greyhound.
Sandwich kind of seems vulgar as a verb here.
Other than those minutiae, wonderful. You have described a peculiar feeling with clarity, while keeping the fogginess of it intact. Deft, as usual.
I liked the poem. Even though there was no rhyme it still flowed. The way you put a lot of detail on this poem was good because it is a shorter poem than most.
This was great! Just like your other poems it's different and out there yet wonderful in every way.
Keep it up!
~Rieda